let's talk for a few minutes about a really difficult subject:
Post Partum Depression
let's talk about how it can hit anyone.
and how you can not even know you had it until it's over.
how you can keep functioning,
going to work,
cleaning house,
tending to children,
even managing a night or two out of the house for a date.
but all along you know
something just isn't right.
your husband knows too.
everyone tells you how tired you look.
they have no idea how tired you are.
you spend so much time in bed but never truly sleep.
you blame the "funk" on the baby's schedule and sleep deprivation.
(goodness knows it's a contributing factor!)
you blame your husband for not understanding.
you blame the children for being themselves.
but never do you think you're "depressed".
no, that's for people who just lie in bed all day and cry.
you've been functioning.
(barely.)
sometimes there are sudden
BURSTS!
mania, even.
when you get a task and you get it DONE.
nothing will stop you!
(depressed people don't do that!)
unless you can't for some reason.
and then the downfall...
oh, the downfall...
the tears...
the sleep that just won't come.
you wonder if these Baby Blues will last forever.
~
then Summer arrives
and after 20 months,
20 very long months,
you find that you're you again.
and it feels SO very good.